Sunday, August 15, 2004

Alien vs Predator

[Film] In anticipation of the local release of Alien vs Predator in a month (this weekend topside), the gang got together yesterday to go over the histories of the Predators and the Xenomorphs. We kicked off mid-afternoon & continued until the wee hours. As is the way with slumber parties, much sugar was ingested and much mirth was generated at each others expense, but a few lessons were learnt too.

In addition to a couple of the AvP trailers, we managed to get through five of the six films we set out to watch. Following the original Alien (not Scott's directors cut) and Ripley's return to LV426 in Cameron's recut of Aliens, we switched franchises to see what happens when a team of 'roid-raging proto-pollies get weapons and run around a jungle. What did we find? That Predator really does have some of the best one-liners of any action movie ever; "I ain't got time to bleed" and "If it bleeds we can kill it" amongst them. Danny Glover & co in Predator 2 couldn't really live up to it. By the time we finished the two skull collectors it was getting quite late & people were starting to snooze; we skipped Fincher's attempt at closure - Alien3 - and jumped 200 years into the euro clone-fest that was Jeunet's Alien: Resurrection. Having seen quite a bit of Buffy, Joss Weadon's self-referential style was easy to spot.

So what did we learn from observing 594 minutes of interactions between humans and otherworldly lifeforms? Well, putting aside any philosophical or feminist readings, we determined that:

  • the first two xenomorph films deserve their places as some of the 1001 movies you must see before you die and there're good reasons why none of the other films have made it in the list;
  • even if you only suspect that you've seen something up in the trees, DO unload all of your bullets up into the canopy; DON'T just waste them at ground level;
  • if at any time you suspect that an advanced alien species is out to get you, the presence of Bill Paxton will confirm it (don't worry though, Bill will probably die before you and he will have deserved it);
  • if you see a blurry patch that might indicate the presence of a creature with the technology to bend light, DON'T think you can move around it - DO take the shot; and
  • if you're fighting said advanced alien species and you think you've killed it, you really need to make sure. DO shoot it, shoot it again, cut its head off and then shoot it in the eye for good measure. If you get the chance to smash its skull with a rock, DO take it. DON'T just poke it.

    My prediction for AvP; no-one will leave the pyramid alive.

    Posted by Dean @ 8/15/2004 08:48:00 pm

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    Just hopped to your site, so thought I'd say for the movie, Me and my buddies were planning a weekend movie marathon to watch the Alien and Predator series as well, this just gives me more incentive to convince them :)

    Posted by Blogger Kunaal @ Thursday, August 19, 2004 12:52:00 pm #
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